Today I picked up the phone and made the call. It is something I have been thinking about for the last eight months. It was the hardest thing to do.
I heard an alien sound, a squeaky noise reverberating from around my chest area. I cannot be certain it was my voice. I have never heard such a pathetic sound coming out of anyone I know.
A guy I was chatting with rejuvenated me. He is a giant and he has done many giant things. He could easily be the best at what he does in this country. Naturally, when we got chatting, I got a surge of energy. I believed I could take on the world.
There are like 100 calls like this I still have to make. I have tried to block them out of my head for an eternity thinking I can wish them away. But the world does not operate in that way. We owe the world an explanation and we shall give it in any way the world will have it.
It is saying sorry when you know you shouldn’t be saying sorry. It is to stay in the cold to scrub the grime off the crone’s back because this will get you some points.
Making a call to people who have compartmentalised you and told the world that you will never amount to anything is hard. Because one part of you wants to put up your fists and fight but the other side of you knows that you are in the wrong and you must bow down.
Because it might just be true that you are the traitor that they say you are.
But it feels good because now, it is up to “them.” Eventually I had to come around; the wayward child who should be prayed for. That’s what the world must do. Pray for the lost causes and when they come round, when the prayers start to work, take in the prodigal sons of the world.
How random and senseless can a blog post be?