What do we learn from Straka’s show

Master Parrot’s Ekokompola is like the cry of a Ugandan man frustrated with what he sees everyday but he can’t do anything about it. It is universally accepted the world over that Ugandan chicks are the hottest in the world and they know it, thus their cruelty in the way they dress. And that is not a line stolen from Pride and Prejudice.

Ngoni is still rocking. Now they have a new video for Sunita coming out soon. Sunita is the next big thing. These guys have totally taken over from Steve, he’ll have to learn how to talk without stammering. It’s now the big league and little people just should go and eat rocks.

Straka’s show is where every Ugandan musician wants to be. If “Straka beibee” does not endorse you, you are just doing a lot of nothing. Hercules would laugh at you with his sky on the shoulders because he would realize that his load is light. Straka is the Oprah of Ugandan music. She says something and the industry figures experience a tremor. The stock market takes a dive. (The theoretical stock market, that is).

Willy Mukaabya will make you laugh, whether you like it or not. It doesn’t matter what language you speak or understand. The guy knows the real meaning of self deprecating humour.

Sitting to watch the show is actually an interesting experience. You can sit watching it past midnight, past 1 am, without feeling guilty that you are wasting time you would have used to sleep since you have to get up early. It’s even better than eating a cold piece of mbooli in the morning. I guess it’s the pride of seeing all these artistes with stars in their eyes, ready to take on the world.

There are artistes not yet recognized on this show who deserve to be here. Have you heard Sylvester ne Abrams’ Lemerako? Have you heard Krayzie Native’s Wansi Waggulu? No? I rest my case. It’s because they have not been on The Late Show.

Bebe Cool is the biggest star in the world.

Ugandan artistes are producing better videos because everyday someone makes a new one. The competition makes them go out and try to outdo the competition. Oh, and by the way, Buchaman looks absolutely great in videos. In Ngoni’s Nakupenda, the crutch is mysteriously missing. In Peace with Angela Katatumba, it’s also missing.

Now we know who the engine of The Dynamic Duo was really. When Gen. Mega Dee split from Menton Kronno, everyone forgot who Kronno is. No one even remembers that there was a singer called Kr…what was that?

When Sweet Kid starts singing, you get the feeling that this here passionate musician is what real music was about back in the day. Yeah, back when we were young and kids respected their elders and politicians were straight and taxes were really low. Sirikuusa…

Hate this chick or love her, she is not going anywhere any time soon unless you can pull off the greatest heist in history – kidnapping her and dumping her on the north pole with only a slimming book. That is impossible, I should tell you coz it’s easier to get an elephant in the fridge. But she has been sacked and reinstated more times than I can remember. Every time she is ‘suspended’, the viewers demand that she be brought back and Gordon Wavamunno quakes so much that he has to do it. That’s the star power of Straka.

P.S: I know, i know…i tried to do this the right way; italicise where i’m supposed to and all but the system just wont be bothered. So…i wouldn’t be bothered either.


About Steven

It wasn't me; arrest the voices. It was the voices in my head. Sike! I am Ugandan first. I care for development in my country. I am a curious observer second and I care to know what you think.
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3 Responses to What do we learn from Straka’s show

  1. jkb says:

    L.A; If Straka is what u proclaim her to be, then I am out of here on the next flight to rub shoulders with royalty…share a rib or two. **wink**wink** I hope she recognises me, lol.

    Btw, I want to buy some GOOD Ugandan/Rwandese music dvds…call the shots. The ones we get around here are of poor quality. U know, bootlegged!!

  2. savage says:

    Maybe it’s just nugu that I am not a celebrity but I absolutely despise all Ugandan celebrities,besides Steve Jean and only because I know him personally.That regardless, on a good day, I am not afraid to slander him also.

    JKB I would point you to http://www.nnyonjo.com/

  3. baz says:

    Straka really is a ka-powerbroker around here.

This is my view. What do you think?

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