36, 37, 38…

golden corral at 38
Today, I turned 38 years. That there is a profound statement; a landmark even. The rest of my life begun today. I have not felt this way about a birthday before.
Lately, I have been beset by thoughts of mortality. My mortality. It is normal, somebody will say, given that I just recently lost a parent. I thought about that today; almost 40 years ago, my father was slightly more than 40 when he had me. He died at a point in time  when I would nearly be his age at that time. Like a 40-year cycle of sorts.
Maybe it normal to think these thoughts. Morbid thoughts even but that does not take away from the fact I have not felt this little, this insignificant in the wider scheme of things. Like I could just curl up and wither away and the world would not care one single bit; there’s been billions of people before me who’ve reached this milestone and they’ve been forgotten.
So there I was at the Golden Corral with my family, the most important people in my life, celebrating the day. It had started with the usual morning ‘surprise.’ The girls were lined up in front of me as I sat on the brown sofa letting the bustle of a new day rise to the acceptable level as I waited for everyone else to get ready.
I had to act surprised. So they sang Happy Birthday.
I could not tell them it is pointless. I could not start saying I feel nothing at all. I have been reminded of my advance in years every year at this time since I was a baby and it’s grown old. I was not feeling particularly excited about being 38. I have spent the last few months inexplicably believing I am making 39, not 38. When at an office meeting recently, the boss asked how old I am, I blurted out, “38.”
So in two years time, I will be 40. Four-Oh. The big one. Everything else will cease to be important, or at least that’s what those who’ve reached the milestone have said of it. I think I have been looking forward to 40 more than to today’s occasion. 
My wife remarked today that the Golden Corral is like that famous restaurant in the middle of Kampala where people go and have their fill with sumptuous buffets. Scratch that; it is probably mainly known by Banyankole in Kampala since all the times I have been there, everyone around me was speaking Runyakitara and so were the waiters and the boss. It is known as Baguma’s.
I am very far from Baguma’s today. I sat in that almost deserted Golden Corral with family but my mind was far away. I have been thinking about my mortality, but I have also dwelt on what I have learned so far in life.
Old people remember things; that’s why they are best placed to run organizations. I might well be headed in that direction as of late I am remembering small items from the past.
I remembered what it felt like to hold my first child in my arms today. I remembered the many walks I helped my wife take to help dilate her at that quiet hospital in Kololo. I remembered sitting in a taxi and biting on my knuckles, heading back to Entebbe to pick the wife two years later when the second baby was coming. I drove back towards the city, stopping at Doctor’s Place in Seguku, where baby number two was delivered.
Today, those two little girls sang Happy Birthday to me. These two girls that I watched as they came into the world and held in my arms before anyone else did.
I have learned that it is pointless to try to turn fate. One just looks ahead and jumps to the next best opportunity. You do not turn fate.
I had a heated debate with a roommate many years ago at Busoga College Mwiri about fate and our will after reading Oedipus and how he tried to run away from his fate, the oracle was clear; he would murder his father and marry his mother. My friend insisted we were stronger than fate and we did not have to be like the mythological Oedipus, that what he did was inexcusable and that he deserved to lose his eyes.
I argued for the other side.
So much water has passed under this bridge. Time has taught me that my friend was right; we can change our destinies. I heard and saw so many oracles in the past that seemed to point to a completely different future. Nothing pointed me to where I am.
For 38 years, my life has been about stepping stones. This belief, this knowledge is the rudder that guides this ship. I step on one stone in the stream and just as I start to slide, I see another in the failing light. I have jumped from stone to stone, some of them very slippery and others firm enough for me to stand tall and look ahead.
When you have been jumping from stone to stone in the stream of life for 38 years, you become something of a pro. You also discard any notions about oracles. I submit, Oedipus was a sick pervert. He had the power to step onto the next stone. He did not have to stay on just the one where he felt safe.

 

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#Topowa

Uganda is inching closer to the February 18 election, there’s more than just a heightened interest among Ugandans. There’s fear. Conspiracies are running wild and the recent pictures tweeted by NTV Kenya of “election materials” have not made things better.

The said “materials” were what appeared to be new armored vehicles with ‘Uganda Police’ proudly painted on the sides.

It is not clear if this is the most important election ever as has been said by a number of talking heads. What’s certain is that this is urgent; here and now. Friends I have been chatting with seem to be genuinely worried. There have been talks of people leaving the country or, for those with less means, escaping to the countryside to hide in hovels.

The fear was brought to the fore when a collective wail rose up on the social networks after news broke that the government will not be printing new passports for at least two weeks. Of course this was immediately liked to the election even though there’s no evidence of any connection. And there was talk about Gen. Aronda Nyakairima, a progressive who brought swift changes to the passport office before dying on an official trip.

Gen-Aronda

Gen. Nyakairima (RIP). Respectfully taken from watchdog.co.ug

For Ugandans abroad, the whole thing is just confusing. Many have been in the exact position urban dwellers are in right now. Normally referred to with a broad brush as “those elites,” people in cities are being bombarded with criticisms about their laziness. For years, every aspect of the broken system of Uganda has been tied to the oft-brought-up issue of elites not voting.

Maybe it is true many people with soft hands and fair complexions to protect from the scorching sun, who would not want to go out in the election queues, have not done their civic duty and therefore have left the decision over who should govern in the hands of the peasants. Maybe not.

The criticism is harsher for Ugandans in the Diaspora. Many times the accusation will come up that such people are not being truthful; that they are saying what they are saying about the government because they will not be directly had an impact on when the shit hits the fan. That they are living the dream in an advanced society where the government will not hesitate to shoot its own people.

This usually pushes Uganda’s Diaspora away. But there are those who stubbornly stay the course.

Living away from home and watching up-close how societies can benefit from a system that works, they start having illusions of grandeur. They start thinking, imagining what it could be like if things actually worked back home.

Living away from home makes one think more seriously about their country.

The heightened interest right now is being fanned by the social media in Uganda but some of it is being pushed by the Diaspora. This should not be a bad thing entirely. Most of the fear is being manufactured by those who hold power because history has shown that many of them think Machiavelli-style. Ugandans should bust the myths.

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Driving for Africa

 

I live in southwestern Kansas. This is rural America where it would be expected that a Black man would stick out like a sore thumb. You know, like those caricatures you read about in the news about Black families being hounded out of predominantly White neighborhoods.

That is not my situation though.

Garden City, KS is a real melting pot, to use a tired cliche. The meat packing industry is the ultimate leveler, it seems, at least for this part of the country. Of course, immigrants’ value is mainly appreciated in states where their labor drives the economy. Take San Francisco and its fruit farms…

Garden City has its fair number of immigrants. The last 50 years have seen a steady stream of people from foreign countries all coming to work in either the wheat fields or the meat packing plants. Garden City is Cow Town. The feedlots that surround it are legendary. A cloud of dust is observed by the driver approaching on any given day. The dust is raised by the hooves of a thousand cattle.

So, the latest group of foreigners who are being shipped to Garden City in droves are people from Somalia. You know the drill; the failed state has its fair number of refugees and the United States government, always the capitalist, knows this is a cheap source of labor. Every year a big number of Somalis arrive in the US and some of them find their way to the meat plants of Garden City.

Which brings us to their driving.

Americans are very good drivers. At least those in Kansas anyway. The big distances between A and B necessitate that almost everyone drives. There is no well-developed transport system seeing as the city only has less than 30, 000 people. Drivers start as early as 14 years old. By the time a person is in their 30s, they’ve racked up more than 15 years of driving. Everyday. Beat that.

So the drivers here are unconsciously good at it. They wait the unspoken five seconds when the lights turn green; they always park in the middle of their slots; they regulate their distances between the cars ahead of them…In short, the system works like clockwork (forgive the cliches).

Now when you take a Somali who’s grown up in a lawless wasteland where there are no rules and transplant him in Kansas, it makes for some colorful language. Facebook pages are decorated with residents bemoaning “these fucking Somalis!”

And its not racism. I have witnessed the skill of the said Somali drivers first hand. One year ago when I was freshly off the boat, I parked at the local Walmart and prepared to get out of the vehicle with my family. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I saw this hurtling mass of … Jeep. The monster came to a halting stop just next to me. The two young men, who I immediately identified as Somali due to their curls and their high cheekbones, did not miss a beat; they just slammed their doors and headed into the store. This was before I even knew about the complaints of the locals.

To many locals, any Black person is from Somalia. There are many around here who’ve never set foot out of the county for all their lives. The cultural shock is real for them. They are of the variety that refers to Africa as a country. (These days, I do not bother to explain that I come from Uganda when that familiar question comes up: Where are you originally from? I just say Africa).

As an African driver on these roads, it took me a short time to recognize the responsibility that had been laid on my shoulders. If everyone else on the road takes me for Somali and by extension, a hazard waiting to happen, it is my duty to show them that not all Africans drive that way. In fact, I need to show them that to the contrary, I am a better driver than some of them even when they’ve been driving for years.

Jpeg

Unforgiving cold road

It gets worse when there are many moving parts. When it snows and the roads are slick, no one should be judged according to the amount of melanin in their skin, but do my neighbors even pause to think of that? No Jose.

That is why I am now an unofficial ambassador. I drive consciously thinking of Africa.

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Son of a dead man

dad 1

It has been 58 days since my father died.

It has been the weirdest 58 days of my life. Having lost my mother more than 10 years ago, I thought I had handling grief down to an art. I thought when the inevitable death of my remaining parent happened, I would boss out that shit.

I was wrong.

Back in 2003, I had my friend to ramble my intelligible ramblings to. I spoke through the night and he listened patiently. I do not remember what I told him in that dark seldom-used room in Ibulanku, with the earth still fresh outside after we laid Anne Wandawa to rest.

My friend, who later went on to be my Best Man, gave me an anchoring that he might never really appreciate. I know I didn’t run off stark raving mad and part of it is because he helped stay the forces that were lurking underneath my skin.

We cannot be in the places we wish to be in at all times. When my Dad died, my Best Man was very far off and very different from the guy who sat in that musty room. He’s long been married and twice a father now. He and I are on two different continents separated by uncountable trillions of ocean water.

My Dad and I spoke on the phone the day before he died. He was in a jolly mood and he was in fact looking forward to attending a wedding. The next day, when I called his phone to follow up on the previous day’s conversation, an unfamiliar voice told me, coldly, that my dad was dead. I will never forget the way he said it.

I must now step up. At the funeral, I was appointed as his heir. In effect, all his affairs and plans were handed over to me. I am the continuity. I have been placed in this place and I know I am not qualified; not by a mile.

The world always moves on. The world has moved on. It is funny how what goes around comes around; back in a previous life working in the newspaper business, I always marveled at how the main topic of the day obliterates yesterday’s issues. A bomb blast in Lugogo is forgotten and the news is focused on some musician of no note.

So, the world seems to have moved on. There are some people newly come to Ibulanku who will never know there was an old man who lived there and died only a few weeks ago. There are people who will have forgotten about his passion for education and for the future of the young people in the village.

As the son of a dead man, I cannot move on.

This dead man gave me my life; I took the roads that I ended up taking because of him. I read widely and eventually I ended up becoming a writer because he encouraged me to read and to write. I remember him bringing books on different topics and encouraging me to discover the new worlds therein.

I remember him discussing different aspects of the life around us.

One day when I was maybe 4 or 5, we took an evening walk. We walked along Buganda Road towards Wandegeya. We lived on the NHCC flats and for a small boy, that was a long distance to walk. When we got to the playground where Buganda Road Primary School holds its sports activities, I remember him telling me to look up to see the flock of birds.

Then he explained why they moved in such formation. He told me the lead bird at the apex of the formation leads for only a few minutes then falls back to let another one lead. The lead bird gives the flock its direction and pace.

I don’t know why tiny anecdotes like this one stayed with me. I do not regret that they did.

My father endured a lot of misfortunes in his life but I learned one virtue from him from his experience; to never expect the world to give a damn. He handled pain and suffering like a boss. The ailment that finally brought him down caused a lot of pain. He was in excruciating pain at the end but he did not utter anything to those around him. He must have thought that if he has handled it on his own before, this too would pass.

I was not with him at the end, just as I was not with my mother at the end. I was however not too beaten up about that. Before I left the country, I spent an entire day with my father. We just did normal things the whole day. We talked about him growing up and what king of parents he had. He told me about his experience with loneliness.

As a child, he was sent to live away from home more than one for extended periods of time. It was not a punishment but it was necessary as his mother, my grandmother, was a widow who was not going to let the circumstances dictate how she brought up her children.

From a young age, he learned to be self-reliant. And that’s one lesson I want to pass on to my children.

In a way, I think we both knew this was probably good-bye. I was moving my young family out of the country to an uncertain future. There was no saying when I would get a chance to travel back. Yet there was a lot that he realized we had never said out loud.

I could not stop him; he was a river. He spoke about everything. He looked back as far as he could remember; 80 years back. His tale became urgent as the day wore on. After that, he knew I would be too busy with the last preps and he knew he was not going to “escort” me to the airport as many Ugandan families do when a member is leaving the country.

On that day, we said our silent Good-Byes.

We shall meet on the other side, Israel Wysua Mulawa.

 

 

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Time change

443177-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Man-On-A-Daylight-Savings-Clock

This morning we had a re-enactment of that opening scene in Home Alone when the parents jump out of bed and stare at each other for a beat before all hell breaks lose. Okay, maybe not that awesome but it felt that way. We thought we were late for church and so we rushed through our Sunday morning routine like Energizer bunnies.

Energizer_Bunny

I am sure there are many stories told by immigrants to the West of how they were fooled by the sudden time change and how the showed up too early for appointments, only to be looked at like they had a loose nut.

We were at church in good time alright. Only we were there too early. See, the clock in the living room was still on Daylight Saving Time. I have been educated that now, we are on something called standard time and the clocks have been set back an hour.

As I type thins, it is 7 a.m. in Uganda. As people go to work catching up on the latest from the different radio stations, in taxis and on boda boda rides, it is 10 p.m. here and I am just getting ready to sleep.

Small matter but that got me thinking perhaps this is the real reason the West has always been ahead of Africa in development. Your circadian clock does not get yanked back and forth like this without you getting creative about it.

Others have argued for the influence of geography on development but I can see it now upfront. When you have 12 constant hours of daylight all through the year and 12 for the night, it is easy to take things for granted.

The different daylight hours in parts of the world where daylight hours change force people to think fast, I believe.

When you have a business, you know you have only a few hours before your clients turn in for the night. It starts getting dark at 5 p.m. around this time of the year here. Probably this explains the difference between African Standard Time (read late all the time) and Mzungu Standard Time (no patience for late idiots).

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Chilly night of the ghouls

Ruh-roh, Raggy! Don't worry Scoob.

Ruh-roh, Raggy! Don’t worry Scoob.

Halloween Night was a sad affair in this part of Kansas. The cold made it close to impossible for monsters to come banging on our door in search of candy, and probably that’s a good thing. Who wants monsters standing at their door?

We knew that this holiday was always going to be a hard paper. Back home in Uganda, when the papers carried pictures of people dressed up in their competitively scary costumes, it was always the same statement: “Eh, didn’t know it was Halloween last night!”

I never really got used to the idea that people can go out to celebrate the holiday, especially seeing as it attracted only pretenders. If people in the West have this fascination with ghosts and devils and they think their children should learn about them early on in life, well, I never saw that becoming a serious Ugandan affair.

Mentions of the origins of the day would inspire ear worms of that musician from Somalia who sang of the jokes that African American gangsters peddle when they go on about how they are hardened by the streets of Compton. If they wanted to see real hard knocks, they should live a month in Mogadishu, he told them in many words.

Same principle here. Coming from a culture that glorifies animism, I bet many Africans look on the jokes that go on every October 31 and sigh with impatience. Back home, the ghouls are for real; talk about spooky things happening at a distance; child sacrifice and demon possession were never something to joke about or to wear costumes about. That’s the real Halloween.

So I drove home trying to be extra careful not to run over any crazed child running into the road thinking everyone is possessed by the spirit of Halloween.

The little people in our home did not even bother to whine about being let out because they knew there would not be any of that at home. They had Winnie the Pooh and Princess Anna costumes but that was just about it. They wore them to the church do that the Pastor organized earlier in the week.

It was funny to see how a culture can be thoroughly entrenched. At work, everyone, except moi, brought a dish and then when they’d all served up on the goodies, they sat in the boardroom to talk all things Halloween.

Yum

Yum

I was trying to beat a deadline so I didn’t sit in on the conversations, but I really wanted to. Just to know what kind of talk is done by people who have been brought up in the Halloween culture. Well, I guess there are other chances for that.

The weather had other ideas though. It had already been predicted that in the evening, we would have temperatures as low as 42 degrees Fahrenheit but at the end of the day, we were doing 38. That was definitely not a good encouragement for trick-or-treating.

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Ghost of a revolutionary

News of the power shift in Burkina Faso is trending. Since the common people decided enough was enough and and kicked the president, Blaise Compaore out, it has been a mad house on social media.

It is laughable, agreed, how Compaore has got his comeuppance, you’d think. We have been told by those who have written about the country of Thomas Sankara, that Compaore was some sort of a Brutus to Sankara’s Caesar. So if he stabbed the darling of Africa’s young people in the back, many are saying good for him that this is happening.

The Beeb reported that after reports he had relented, Compaore later thought twice about that decision and refused to budge. It had all started out with something Ugandans are far too familiar with; politicians tinkering with the law so that the incumbent (Compaore has been in power for 27 years) could seek another term of office.

Many Ugandans are giddy with excitement because of some similarities with the Burkina Faso story. Of course there are those who have always wanted to be Burkinabe just because Thomas Sankara was such a rock star. Since my days in Primary School, I have heard of the heroics of Sankara with kids singing songs in praise of the soldier.

Sanakara. PICTURE: Koulouba

Sankara. PICTURE: Koulouba

But the 27 years of Compaore and the fact that he was seen by many in the country as trying to further impose himself on the country when everyone is eager to see his back could not have been lost on many Ugandans.

The easiest place to throw invective against politicians is Twitter. For Ugandans, it is still Facebook because it allows us to say a lot more given our love for words. So the similarities have been flying a dime a dozen with many chiding Ugandans for not seizing opportunities.

It is also noteworthy that many are calling for Ugandans to “pick a leaf” from the Burkinabe. This is where I draw the line.

If Ugandans got fed up with their situation, it would be their decision to make if they stormed the different Bastilles that hold the freedom they yearn for. If it went down the way it has in Ouagadougou, Ugandans would do it knowing freedom comes at a steep price.

We would be unfair to fan flames of revolution from afar, which many on the outside have been doing. When the shit hits the fan, it should the one who turned the fan on to get smeared; the cheerleaders are too far to be affected, in many cases.

The noises coming off the internets (emphasis mine) are similar to those made when Muammar Gaddafi was about to fall. The excitement was palpable and you would have thought the Kampala government was falling in the next one month. I should add though that its hard not to laugh when goofs like this surface.

twit M7

But we forget the realities of war. When regimes are entrenched, they do not just lie down and let you have your way with them when you tell them to. There is a price. My argument is to let those who know the clear and present danger make the noises, not those in the comfort of Western capitals.

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