Phantom and child

Somewhere in my youth, or my childhood, I must have done something good!

Emotional blackmail

GIVE ME 200K OR I’LL DATE YOUR SISTER!

The doctor’s nightmare

Dr Edward Ddumba, the head honcho at Uganda’s premier hospital, Mulago National Referral Hospital is not happy with the way medic students have over the years been choosing to specialise in “easy” majors, leaving out the all important serious ones.

Serious diseases the good doctor could have been referring to include cancers of every kind and neuro-problems for which many Ugandans travel abroad to treat, incurring obscene amounts of money.

The doctor is probably going to push for acts of force in a bid to see that instead of having to rely on foreign doctors to solve all our problems. And government will probably go along, seeing as there’s really nothing else they have done for a very long time.

We are talking about doing something for medics in Uganda here.

A few months ago, the health minister of Uganda, Dr Malinga decried the rate at which Ugandan doctors are going to work in other countries. He was actually telling the country things he wasn’t supposed to since he is also part of government, the guys who have been charged to solve the problem by the majority of voters who declared that they had confidence in this government.

So now, on top of playing the guilt card with them, we must force them to put their necks on the line and tell them to major in medicine that no one will pay for?

The “difficult courses” that Dr Ddumba wants the students to major in are also the expensive ones. Imagine coming out of that place with a very sophisticated degree only to be told that you are over qualified. And that is only if you are lucky, considering the unfair practices there.

Anyone heard of Dr Kiryabwire, one of the longest serving neurosurgoens at Mulago? Story goes that no one went through his class and passed. Everyone who had delusions of grandeur that they would graduate and save Uganda had a rude awakening when their dreams came crashing down hard in their first year when they realised that they were the only one in the class and Dr Kiryabwire was going to be their supervisor when the finals came.

Ever wondered why after all these years and discoveries in world medicine, we in Uganda still have less than ten qualified neurosurgeons?

Now, we want the students to choose majors like neurosurgery when there are untouchables like that who can determine if you will be a great doctor or a total flop.

Devil in Africa

Been reading Kezio’s blog and I came across that old problem of xenophobia. It is really frustrating that Africans should meet this kind of problems here in Africa, after all the shit that’s thrown at them when they venture into the colder climes.

 

We have all heard of the stupid questions that are asked when one travels to the USA or to Europe. “Do you people still sleep in trees?” Over the years, we have grown a thick skin and we have even found ways of turning the other cheek about it.

 

But in Africa?

 

Maybe it shouldn’t really be that surprising. If you have been to some places in Kampala that have many white clients, you have prolly experienced it. I did. Will never forget my first visit to The Rocks at Speke Hotel. I sat with my cousin for a while before I realised that the waitresses were just standing around looking at us. Like fwaa

 

Then some white couple comes in and they jump.

 

Never went back to that place again till last week when my boss was throwing a dinner for some big shot designer and I had to be there to swell the numbers.

 

Dar vs EAC

So the Tanzanians have contradicted recent media reports that they do not want to be part of the East African Community. Question is; who’s really fooling who? Seems it is going to be the way the cookie crumbles even in this issue that the politicians say one thing and the public says something else and there is nothing wrong with that.

 

In the story carried in the local Ugandan media, the ministers tasked with preaching the gospel of the community came out of their meeting smiling and confident that their common goal will be achieved soon, regardless of what we have heard about the way the majority of Tanzanians feel about it.

 

Dr Ibrahim Masabaha, the Tanzanian minister said 97% of Tanzania actually want to fraternize with us, as in the rest of us who are gunning for the EAC.

 

It has been said that Tanzania does not want to be with us probably because of the stereotypes. Mbu Kenyans are too aggressive and Ugandans are too slippery. Stereotypes, as I said.

 

Is there any truth to these things? And if this is true then there should be something about Tanzanians that the rest of us would not like, right? But that’s what co-existence is about. You decide to do things with someone even when you know about their shortcomings. A song comes to mind…Sunny days/ Everyboby loves them/ Can you stand the rain…Boyz II Men.

 

Can we go it alone? Do we need Tanzania? What happens if the truth is that the population’s thoughts are not the same as those of the politicos?

 

We have been told that we would be better off if we got together in an economic grouping. 5 countries. 150 million people with free access across borders. Make that 7, counting DR Congo and Southern Sudan and maybe we are looking at a market of more than 200 mil.

 

Why would anyone want out of such an arrangement? Maybe the guys down south know something we do not, no?

 

PS: Our president thinks African leaders are dorks! “African leaders have no wisdom because they do not fear the Lord,” the big guy said at the National Prayer Breakfast. Yup, we have a National Prayer Breakfast here.

Jonny McRandom

Hi my peoples. Been trotting all around and I can see you are having the time of your lives. It’s always good to come around when the work is throttling you. It’s like coming up for air, you know.

 

And work’s been tight. Someone tell me what the best medicine is for a dysfunctional IT department. Because of the things they do (or do not do), the work we all have to do at The Company is growing exponentially.

 

I have been thinking of that place like a photograph called Lake Bunyonyi. Is it all that? Maybe I should consult this guy about the validity of all the things that are said about Bunyonyi. Y’see, I am fast approaching a landmark in my life. Next month. Where has all the time gone?

 

It’s going to be the very first time for me to hold such a function and from what I hear, the first cut is the deepest or words to that effect, as said by an old fart high on Speed. I sure cannot be asking Dumb Blonde at the office about matters of such import, now, can I?

 

There’s something good about being forced to dress up formally. When the dress code changes wherever you are, you get a chance to see miles and miles of legs. Why do some people want to hide their legs all day long when in most cases it’s the best thing that has happened to them?

 

Raila came around at my place of work. He was given such a welcome. It shouldn’t be a surprise seeing as many ‘big’ people come around to yap for two hours here. What I would have wanted to ask him is; “Are we going to vote for you, jamma?” I mean, isn’t it strange that this Kenyan is making his visit here such a spectacle? Oba its just Ugandans being Ugandans, boiling (frothing) for a moment at something new then losing interest? But then, it seems we have closet Kenyans here.

 

Anyone read Ben Okri? That dude is off the hook -  literally. I mean, I have tried to read The Famished Road like a gazillion times but I have failed. The literature world thinks he is good so why cant I get through just one of his books? It is good in the beginning but that routine about the ghost child always seeing demons wears out even before the middle. But he just goes on and on and on…

 

My country has rounded up refugees of Rwandan extraction and sent them home fighting and biting. I mean what have we come to? Someone comes to your place to escape danger and you toss them back into the fire? Some hospitality!

 

Do cats get to go to heaven?